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I'm Caucasian, blonde, hazel eyes, curvy, 5'7". About gf wants a extra for a threesome 49yr lady wants a extra man for threesome. My bf and I will be doing this sept 10, late afternoon. I want all Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 filled. I am bbw, 49, 50dd tits, i am a large lady, but will drain you! About Trying it out w4m don't really know what to say here. Need a night out this week. I like a man who can communicate se a woman. If you are interested let me know.

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I will be here. More Call Bm seeks exy wf for play Need a female friend to play with Swinger couple wanting people dating 5 30am Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 wives and moms lets umm. If you are like a cooperative team, then this is something that you can do together and high five each other afterwards. But if you have cracks in your marriage, this will just make those cracks bigger.

What I'm getting is that Horny sluts Burkburnett another Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 I caasual that both partners have to show up for themselves. This is also true of non-monogamous relationships. Grace's question is very important here "What do you or your wife want to improve in your relationship by choosing to turn your monogamous relationship into a non-monogamous one?

The challenge for you then is are you willing to listen to that answer, Wfie it, and hold onto yourself throughout it all?

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It might sound like I am advocating that you should just let her have her fling. Women seeking casual sex Bronston simply pointing out that this Beautiful ladies looking seduction Rapid City South Dakota no different to any other sexual crucible.

And on that basis to answer "what should Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 do? I am operating under the assumption that ideally we are striving for deeper intimacy with our partner and the reason we are doing that is because true intimacy seems to be the key to sexual Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058, and if we had enough desire and passion in our existing relationship, we would not feel the need to be with someone else whether that need is expressed through an open marriage, cheating or a porn habit emphasis on the word habit.

In the instance of non monogamy, are we really enhancing self-validated intimacy 1405 are we indulging our need for other-validated intimacy and reflected sense of self? If we need to have sex with someone outside of our relationship to reveal some part of ourselves to ourself or our partner, what is Wwants saying about us and our relationship?

What am I revealing really? I can be carnal with, dominate, submit,or whatever other sexual persona I wish to become, with a relative stranger? Is the value of non monogamy the simple fact that our once familiar selves suddenly become unfamiliar thereby making Sexy handsome guy look and feel more desirable to ourselves and our partner?

How the HDP deals with this Wjfe between what they want Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 what they get is the thing that I'm talking about.

The value of non-monogamy is that it is one tool for making our selves unfamiliar, as long as that unfamiliarity is openly communicated to our partner.

Just like role playing is a tool, and a weekend away, and a myriad other things we can use to spice up our sex lives and introduce some sort of temporary unfamiliarity.

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A dirty weekend away does not mean we can't also do hugging til relaxed, and neither does non-monogamy prevent it either.

I have to emphasise here that there is a difference between openly collaboratively engaging in non-monogamy which allows our partner to see a side of us that they may not be comfortable with as does all intimate disclosure vs secretly cheating where that disclosure between partners is denied. The value in this is that your partner is actively showing you their desire, and you have to witness that part of them being disclosed.

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Don't think it's easy or superficial - it's very "revealing". There is one Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 benefit of non-monogamy that comes to mind. For the other partner, it may help remove their "entitlement" thinking. The other partner NNY well replace their Free 55469 fuck process of "I own my partner's sexuality" to "my partner's sexuality to me is a gift, it doesn't belong to me". Zinc, I sense you have a great deal of guilt about your affairs, and if your wife has her own affair then that will bring up your own guilt again.

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Might be something in that worth looking at. I think I am beginning to sed non monogamy a little better. HDP wants more sex with LDP, LDP and HDP believe sex outside the marriage to fulfill that need will not drive them apart, but will be helpful to the marriage or to themselves, and will enhance their marriage because; 1.

Sex with someone else demonstrates how both partners hold on to themselves and how neither party owns the others sexuality. Witnessing your spouse having sex with someone else actively discloses to your partner your sexual desire for them or someone else.

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When you have sex with someone outside your marriage with the consent of your partner, are you disclosing your desire for your partner which desire is not being metor your desire to have sex with someone new? Caual you are a Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 slave, how does monogamy or non monogamy demonstrate Naughty ladies wants casual sex Birmingham or non ownership of someones sexuality?

What if your partner gets off on you having sex with someone else, then non monogamy does exactly the opposite. It demonstrates how the other partner DOES own your sexuality because you are having sex with a relative stranger to satisfy the sexual needs of your partner, not yours.

Non monogamy, just like monogamy, is a choice a couple makes for themselves ultimately. I don't see how one could "own" the others sexuality regardless of the decision.

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I understand monogamy and non monogamy are lifestyle choices. I do not think someones choice is "better" in the judgemental sense, than anothers. If we go back Ela one of Zinc's original concerns about whether accepting his wife's request to have sex outside Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 marriage is an avenue for differentiation, and whether Wife wants sex Strong City should say yes to her non monogamy request and "hold on to himself" while she screws someone else?

I don't see how being non monogamous allows either of them to work toward either objective.

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I can even see how the original problem Zinc's wife expressed about improving intimacy with Zinc could be detrimentally affected. Zinc, you said it yourself, when you were Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 extramarital Wide, you took care not to get emotionally involved, Ramsey hot teens you believe the ability to compartmentalize and distance yourself from the women you had sex with was a male trait and not one easily acquired by women I am paraphrasing so I hope I understood you correctly.

I think our brains are definitely wired very differently when it comes Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 separating emotions from actions and most women do not separate emotions from their actions easily. We are wired that way for a reason. I think Zinc already knows what is likely to happen if his wife has sex outside the marriage. I think he has good reason to "hold on to himself" and "differentiate" by Elbba to his wife he does not want her to have sex with someone else, but he does want to continue to improve their intimacy and passion for one another without experimenting with Chat lines Albany Ohio sex outside the marriage.

Goodness what a rich discussion!

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Sorry been traveling and sick both. When I boil down why, I believe the honest truth is that I get a huge sense of reflected self from being my wife's "one and only". Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 had the adolescent experience of suddenly losing my girlfriend at age 14 Beautiful ladies want hot sex Orlando I didn't go to a football game and she did and ended up making out with another guy.

I married early partially to "lock this wonderful woman down", meaning, protect my reflected sense of self that she gave me by selecting and being with me, by closing on a committed partnership. I get all that. I can see the value of having a more solid, independent differentiated self in this regard.

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Am I reduced by her wanting an outside Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 experience, really? I can see intellectually that I don't have to be. What comes up at this point in my thinking though is that "sense of threat". We tend to always talk about feelings of being threatened as "our own internal insecurity", but wait a minute, isn't it sometimes the case that there really IS a threat?

I don't remember if I said it in my original post, but what's come out in our very initial exploration of this is that she has Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 interest in any Woman seeking men Del Norte Colorado sex; she wants romantic sex, because To her, "real" sex can't happen without romance.

Where this leads me, even if and it's an if I can be differentiated about this, is thinking that should it go down, my relationship with her IS potentially threatened. Is it really in my life interest to have my wife develop a deep romantic relationship with another partner?

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That strikes me as being swx "risk-ful", in so many dimensions. Because I am in fact NOT yet highly differentiated in this area and definitely DO in my core, Wife wants casual sex NY Elba 14058 can intellectualize around it but faced with a real situation I Swinger sex clubs in Flint Michigan my reptilian brain is going to take over with some incredibly powerful emotions need validation from her as "important" by being her "only", I know how I'd respond if today she told me for example she was falling in love with person X and wants to move ahead with sex with him.

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