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I went to put the ring on she gave me the wrong finger. A guy knows he's in when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Never tell your wife she's lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion. They say marriage is a contract.

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Contracts come with warranties. When something goes wrong, you wantss take it back to the manufacturer. If your husband starts acting up, you can't take him back to his mama's house.

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